The Last Four… thoughts an alien would have before returning back home
Alien
Keeping it musical, I’d take a guess at this:
Why are they trying to clap at the same time to that really awful noise?
Personal prejudice aside (well, not really), I reckon the aliens in question would find it seriously mental that the masses at an Oasis stadium concert (yes, I just said ‘concert’… exactly) all think that clapping along to ‘the beat’ of ‘Wonderwall’ somehow unifies their one collective soul into something greater. Weird now you think about it, right?
My brain hurts.
Said alien was heard muttering this reflection after hearing of the Scott Walker Drifting and Tilting dates at The Barbican. The fact that people were paying to see Scott Walker, yet not see Scott Walker, was apparently too complex a concept for his alien brain.
Why is that one yoof over there talking when the rest of them are deadly silent?
“Maybe he has no respect for anything? Maybe he has money to burn and has just rocked up at this gig venue to premiere his newly-written soliloquy? Or perhaps he just doesn’t care. I don’t like him,” said the alien in question, when interviewed pre-encore.
“I’d like to learn to dance…
… but unfortunately I can’t stand still. I think it’s something to do with gravity.” This one was another direct quote, taken after a Metronomy show.
As a pre-cursor in reverse, the fact that the aliens have landed is to be taken in the context of inescapable reality. Just accept it and move on – never once consider the fact that this piece may be a way of me having a bit of a whine without wanting to come across as indignant. Never think that.
If I was an alien, I’d wonder why people find it so difficult to clap in time. I’m human though, and still muse upon it…