Gig behaviour

Sharing the thrill of live music with a respectful and buzzing crowd can be an infectiously excellent experience. Sadly, on the flip side, a noisy and inconsiderate crowd can not only put a dampener on gig proceedings but taint it to the point of total spoilage. A question I ask myself time and time again is why do people pay £20 to come and see a band and then spend the entire time gassing with a friend. Why not play the band’s latest album at home with a mate, perhaps serving up some watered down lager to make the experience more realistic.

I admit that I can be a bit of a live music menace to other gig goers because of my tree-like stature. At six foot four, I’m likely to be blocking someone’s view, at least partially but I do make every effort to stand near the back, always checking behind me to minimise this view-hindrance. It’s all about consideration for your fellow appreciator of music in its best format. I recall at one gig, maybe an hour into the show, feeling a tap on my shoulder. I span round and then looked down to see what I can only describe as an angry munchkin who, without any preamble or even that magic ‘P’ word, demanded ‘could you move!?’. I may very well have accommodated the request if perhaps the poisoned dwarf had used those manners that people used to use when I were a lad, or and this is the crux, if she’d not chosen to stand behind the tallest person she could find.

Gig crowd behaviour is a minefield. It’s important to gauge where the best place to stand will be before the band start. You need to ask yourself questions about the people surrounding you. Is it a good idea to stand next to that bloke who is already dancing like Liam Gallagher even though there’s no music playing at the moment? Are that group of lads near the bar going to actually shut their moronic mouths once the music kicks in? Is that bloke going to continue telling his potential girlfriend his entire life story when she and the rest of the crowd are more interested in listening to the concert?

I’m actually getting better at blocking out any annoying crowd chunter and it doesn’t get to me as often as it used to. It’s certainly not due to mellowing as I age, I think it’s more do to with the realisation that there is little you can do about mass inconsideration. I don’t like confrontation and have only asked people to knock the noise down a few times but the response is always aggressive no matter how politely you ask. I do have other tricks up my sleeve though; if they’re not interested in the band and I can hear them over the music, then it’s reasonable to assume that they don’t want to see the band. Sometimes, being six foot four is a real blessing.